faux pas

photo (24) Faux pas.


Missteps sound sweeter in French, don't you think...more like a a fine cheese than a flub.


"Would you like to try a slice of my faux pas? It is delicious on a cracker."


Today was sullied with the sloppy tread marks of my sundry missteps. At every turn I felt silly. My decisions felt clunky. My judgement cloudy. More than once I asked,


"What was I thinking?"


I am learning to be more gentle with myself, but my inner critic is a brat. She is such a brat.


When watching Grey's Anatomy a few years ago, my mom remarked of the self-flagellating and brutally ambitious medical interns,


"They remind me of you."


And I agreed.


Softly, softly, softly. I am only human. You are only human. We are only human.


The one thing I did unequivocally right today? I pulled my car over to the side of the road on my way home from Days Market. I stood beneath the lilacs and inhaled. As I floated in the fog of that sweet scent, I felt joy in being only human.


This. Of all things. My small violet victory.