Furious von Anger vs. Sir Slightly Perturbed

Living in Korea for the past two years has been rather remarkable. Primarily because this foreign country has introduced me to previously unseen parts of myself--parts that remained hidden and dormant until jolted awake by that annoying and ever timely trumpet blast of adversity. What awoke was a courage more intense than I ever suspected, a spiritual awareness more refined and subtle, and a deeper sense of my own divinity. What also awoke was a paunch bellied, unshaven, middle management alcoholic by the name of Furious von Anger.

Why has such an ugly old man inhabited my soul? Perhaps it's a result of being jumped on, pulled at, pinched, and groped all day by little ones who frequently choose to use me as their personal toilet/Kleenex/garbage can. Perhaps it's the mounting frustration I feel at myself for not learning Korean coupled with my frustration at Koreans who have the audacity to speak their native tongue which is clearly NOT English (how's that for flawless ethnocentric logic). Or perhaps it's just feeling lonely and being angry that I feel so lonely. Regardless of its source, Furious von Anger most usually manifests himself when I'm in my apartment, hurling obscenities and dishes across the room with equal wrath.

But sometimes, when he's feeling especially rude, he'll emerge when I'm teaching my students (who I love deeply despite the fact that they urinate on me) or when I'm "venting" to a friend. And by "venting" I mean letting Furious von Anger scream sour pus-drenched words with his pungent breath and flying spittle, his bloodshot eyes and yellow pit stained shirt. And those are the times that I need to start the healing. First, by apologizing to those who have met Furious von Anger when he was in his foulest state of hungover. I am sorry.

Truly.

And second, by finding a way to refine Furious von Anger into something a little softer--more teeth perhaps, clean shaven with a handlebar mustache, a jaunty bow tie, only small flashes of annoyance in his eyes. He would go by the name of Sir Slightly Perturbed or something equally genteel. How to go about this refining process is something all together, something that Korea may have yet to awaken within me.