Her Grace Kelly Nose

I have a question for my women friends: Do you ever get jealous of other women? I do. Not frequently, but just often enough to instantly recognize that queasy, fist-in-your-throat feeling. Maybe it's her wildly successful career or delicate Grace Kelly nose or seemingly endless reserves of get-up-and-go. Regardless of what triggers it, once jealousy has wrapped itself alien-like across my face, I feel suffocated and paralyzed and angry. I feel like this:


Jealousy is parasitic. It consumes healthy perspective and a realistic sense of self. And it seems to feed on us most voraciously when men are involved. This afternoon I was looking through some old journals and found an entry I had written during a time in my life when I felt hugely jealous of another woman. I had no information about her except for two facts: 1. She was a tall glass of Heidi Klum flavored water. 2. She was friends with a guy I had a huge crush on. These two facts were enough to send me into a wild, assumption laden frenzy that wrecked havoc on my emotional well being. In an attempt to regain some internal balance and common sense for crying out loud, I decided to write something from my core, something that did not belong to nor was associated in any way with jealousy. I wrote:

"Other women are not your enemy. They are composed of gifts and fears just like you. They long for companionship and warmth just like you. They cry and feel wounded just like you. If a man chooses another woman over you, rejoice for her. It is not the end of her struggle, but it has filled something needed in her life. The experience of not being chosen has filled something needed in your life as well."

So maybe it's helpful to avoid casting other women as "other" and instead remember that they, in many ways, are just like us. Furthermore, one woman's success can be enjoyed by us all as an advancement for womankind. When I say this it resonates, but it's very difficult for me to apply in real time. Does this resonate with you? If not, I want to know how you combat jealousy, and for those of you who never feel jealous I will bake you an apple pie shaped like Grace Kelly's nose.